Turner Tantrums: January 2012

Heather and Billy

Heidi & Jordan

Irene & Lou

My sisters Irene (30), Heidi (28), and Heather (22, next week) all got engaged, recently. We're soooo excited!!! Now, if only David Tutera would respond to Heidi's email she sent him...

The Dearest David (I figured "My" Dearest David would be too presumptuous),

I blame my parents. These two individuals, one a voluptuous and bubbly social butterfly and the other your typical bow-tie wearing computer geek, could not resist one another's charms and had nine (9) children-- same two parents, no twins, no adoptions, 20 years difference between the oldest and youngest. Even worse (for the pocketbook), five of these children are ladies. Oh it gets better-- over the past two months, myself and TWO of my sisters have gotten engaged to the loves of our lives (*note "loves" is plural-- no sister wives here). While we have been blessed in love, we are cursed with confusion, ever-growing bridal parties, and dreams of David Tutera's magic in our heads. Weighing in at just under 12 lbs at birth, I have been setting records since the day I was born (heaviest baby ever born in Round Rock, Texas- what what!). Now, I fear, I am about to break the record for the largest wedding party. Not only are all of my siblings close, but we are close to all of our siblings' significant others... and their families.. and on and on and on... It probably has something to do with the fact that when you have a family this big, you do not know where your family ends and the "others" begin.

Here are the details on the couples:

1. Heidi (28) and Jordan (27) (engaged October 29, 2011; together 4 years)-

I am Heidi Hartmann and engaged to the hilariously funny Jordan Harrison. We met in undergrad at The University of Texas at Austin (hook 'em) but did not start dating until law school. Four years later, we are engaged. I am the sixth kid and third girl to Lorraine and Al Hartmann. Currently, I practice labor and employment law, and Jordan is an in-house attorney. Do not let our boring choices in careers fool you, my romantic-at-heart Jordan proposed to me at the place where we had our first kiss ... a unisex bathroom (It was a law school Halloween party, and I wouldn't kiss him in public. Naturally, he suggested that we have our first kiss in the privacy of the unisex bathroom). Shortly after the proposal, we began planning our wedding and quickly became overwhelmed, BUT I did buy a beautiful dress! We have made our guest list and have determined our bridal party. However, I get heart palpitations when I think of making 13 bridesmaids bouquets. Because my family is incredibly close and very inclusive, we basically have a parade before I walk down the aisle. To clarify, my siblings and Jordan's siblings, along with their significant others, are going to walk down the aisle oldest to youngest (e.g. my oldest bro and his lady walk down the aisle, followed by Jordan's oldest bro and his lady... all the way until my baby sister and his baby sister walk down the aisle). After the family struts their stuff, we have a handful of close-friends (10+ years friendships) who will walk down the aisle. The easiest part of planning the wedding has been choosing the ring bearers and flower girls -- my adorable nephews and nieces, along with a family friends' kids (take a peak at the pic above-- adorbs!).

While Jordan and I currently live in Dallas, my hometown is Austin, Texas (a must visit city if you haven't been). My family has lived in Austin for 28 years now, and naturally, it is the perfect location for a wedding.

Heidi Hartmann & Jordan Harrison

Address Deleted

Number of guests: 220 current guest list

Location: Austin, Texas

Date: Fall 2012

2. Heather (21) and Billy (23) (engaged December 10, 2011; together 7 years)- These two lovebirds have been together since they were 14 and 15 years old. My dad says his kids are like penguins -- we find the one who is our mate for life and never look back. Heather is the eighth kid and the fourth girl. She works her little butt off with two jobs while in undergrad and is interviewing for pharmacy school. Billy works with computers and is completely musically inclined. These two are the most gentle souls I have ever had the privilege to know, and I am pretty sure that if you even added one colorful light to their wedding reception, they would name every kid Tutera.

3. Irene (30) and Lou (30) (engaged January 1, 2012; together 8+ years-- they stopped counting)- Irene is the sibling immediately older than I am. While we are two years apart, our birthdays are only a day apart. Accordingly, we shared birthday parties all growing up... so why not share a wedding?! Lou and Irene went to the high school prom together and have been inseparable since. If you aren't persuaded yet by how elegant and reverend my family is, at a high school party that was busted by police, Lou stood on top of a table with a radio blasting, "YOU'VE GOT TO FIGHT ... FOR YOUR RIGHT ... TO PARTY."

Lou's sentiments, ala the Beastie Boys, could not be truer today. As my sisters and I contemplate how to even begin planning and paying for our weddings, we are fighting for our right to throw the most fun, chaotic, and beautiful wedding party ... dare I say ... ever.

If you (aka the person who must screen these emails) have been kind enough (or bored enough) to read this, I thank you greatly for your time and hope this was at least somewhat enjoyable to read. Truly, I just love my sisters and their lucky other halves and know that this could be one spectacular wedding (or 3-day wedding weekend). While I may have knocked on the sister wives above, I do agree that love is multiplied, not divided.

Thanks for your time. Please let me know if you desire additional information, and I will be happy to provide it.

Happy New Year!

Heidi, aka Kid # 6