"I HATE EVERYTHING!!" is one of Hayden's most common phrases. What he is really trying to say is that he is afraid of everything. And, he is. Whether it's brushing his teeth, going on the potty chair, going to the movies, Chuck E Cheese, wearing a Halloween costume, going inside of a store that he's seen Halloween decorations in before, getting pictures taken, getting his hair or fingernails cut, going to the doctor's office or dentist, going to nursery, or especially monsters and sock puppets, Hayden is very afraid of everything. I've never met anybody with more fears or anxieties before than my sweet boy. I think there are 3 main causes to Hayden's anxiety: 1) Genetics-anxiety runs in the family. 2) Hayden is too dang smart-he remembers EVERYTHING, he constantly thinks about things, analyzes things, and he makes up the rules, and 3) Age-he's only 3 years old. I'm hoping that as he grows older, he'll become braver. I've thought that perhaps getting him in Karate lessons might help. After all, when I was growing up with 3 older brothers, they were constantly telling me that I should be afraid of them, because they knew Karate. With all of the confidence in the world, I would tell them in return that I wasn't afraid of them, because I knew ballet. And I did. We've had a lot of troubles potty-training Hayden, mainly due to his anxiety and the fact that he has been backed up since January. He's been through a lot of trauma to get his movements flowing (tmi, I know, sorry). Anyhow, he's finally getting good at peeing outside in the grass. He'll leave a trail of his clothes behind and run into the yard to water the grass. He says he's helping it grow. He's helped the bushes near Jungle Java and Lakeline Mall grow, too, FYI. The other day I noticed an ant bite on Hayden, and I asked him if he kicked the ant in the bum, and he told me that ants don't have any bums. He said he'd water that ant, though. And, he will. Hayden hates (is afraid of) everything, that it just makes me that much prouder of him when he accomplishes the smallest of tasks. From wearing a skull on his shirt to go trick-or-treating, to watering our lawn (and public lawns), to just stepping foot inside church, to only biting the dentist once, to only throwing up on the hair stylist once, to only saying hate about ten times a day, I am soooo proud of him. I love him so much, and sometimes when he is in the throws of his anxiety and screaming and crying so bad that I think he's going to pass out, the only thing I can do is hug him, rock him, kiss him, and tell him everything is going to be alright. And it will be. Because Mama knows ballet.
